The best moment in my life was being angry at God in prayer.
It was one of the worst days I had ever experienced.
I got home from work and went immediately for a brisk 4 mile walk.
I was so angry I could barely breathe, much less talk to my family.
I tried to pray but I was at a loss for words.
I wanted to be respectful and reverential to the one who had saved me.
But it just wasn’t happening.
With every false start at prayer I was becoming more upset. My anger finally erupted.
I began to tell God how unfair he had been to me. How I could do a better job at running the world.
And I believed every word that was coming out of my mouth.
I waited for a lightning bolt to strike me.
But instead I felt an overwhelming sense of His love and presence.
It finally dawned on me that I had only verbalized what God already knew.
The only person I was fooling with my pious prayers was myself.
God had always loved me. His love would not change.
I began to repent of my attitude and experience his grace.
But something inside of me changed that day.
I learned that it is okay to be honest with God and myself.
That He is big enough to handle my anger and my questions.
My God is big enough to handle my accusing, ungrateful heart and still love me.
But if I had not prayed in anger, I would never have experienced the depth of his love for me.